So, you've made the decision. You're moving in! Here are some tips for the first week:
1) Pick a new room of the house, if this is at all possible.
If you haven’t yet moved in just yet, you may be saying to yourself, “Why? I loved my room in high school!” You just proved my point. Think of some other things you liked in high school. Cargo shorts, Sufjan Stevens and Volkswagen bugs probably aren't at the top of your list any more. But the main reason is that it is depressing to live in the same room you did back then. It feels like you've gone nowhere (when in reality you really did go somewhere, and then come back.) Hopefully your parents have moved into a new house since you left home. If not, at least try to change it up a bit. Redecorate. Throw out you old “The Strokes” posters. You’re a different person than you were then, and your living space should reflect that.
2) Be a Lone Wolf
Regardless of how social you consider yourself, you will do better to fly solo for a little while. Social situations are going to be awkward for the complete duration of time that you are still living at your parents house, especially if you are unemployed. Social situations often lead to meeting new people... and if the introduction gets any further than your name, it’s probably going to get to the point where you will have to answer a question that you would prefer to just grunt to.
I found that it killed my confidence every time that I had to explain my situation to a complete stranger... so unless you like to make up elaborate lies, keep your friend group small and don’t let them drag you to any parties. Also, as a side note, friends are expensive. They will often want to do things like eating at restaurants, seeing movies in theaters, and drinking alcohol at bars. None of these things will help you move out of your parents house.
3) Plan an Exit Strategy
How long do you want to spend living at your parents house? This sounds like a silly question at first, but give it some serious thought. If you don’t watch it, you might end up spending a lot longer there then you intend. Try to set a deadline, and discuss it with your parents. You might even want to consider writing a formal contract with them.
Don't necessarily just jump to the conclusion that spending a year at home is the right amount of time. There is nothing magical about 365 days, and you might not be pushing yourself hard enough. Visualize the time that you will spend with your parents, and what you want to get accomplished during that time. Will it really take 12, 9, or 6 months? If you are saving money, how long will that take?
These questions will force you to really think about how long you will need to live at your parents house. If you are going back to school, you may not have much of an income for the next 2-4 years, and it’s possible that you might be living with your parents for all that time. If that seems likely, then admit it to yourself and move on.
Those are the tips for today. Let me know how your experience at home is going.
Philip
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